lunar eclipse
by triffickie
Summary: [ffiv] Edge's reaching lunacy because of Rydia. Rydia's just confused.


[ .l u n a r.:::e c l i p se. ]

by Vera Priscaleth

_Disclaimer: Rydia, Edge and the FFIV universe belong to Square. Aren't we so glad they do?_

_Author's Notes: I haven't finished FFIV, because my levels suck. Excuse me for this. I know what happens in the end; my friend spoiled it for me. I'm in love with EdgexRydia, thanks to the game. I'm sure it's not "the one true way", but to me it's preferable. I also refuse to believe Rydia is a kid or a teasing bitch or that Edge is an arrogant, idiotic asshole or a snotty brat royal. Give us a break, will you? I believe the characters are a little more complex than that. If I haven't captured their characters perfectly, please let me know by reviewing. This is my first FFIV fic, after all. This fic takes place at some time after Rydia and Edge have met and are wandering around the lands. [Imagine yourself doing level upping or something.] I don't know why I called this **Lunar Eclipse**. At least the title's game themed. Bold text = Edge's thoughts, italized text = Rydia's. Reviews & constructive criticism welcome. Any personal attacks won't lead to my suicide. Sorry._

_Ps. Thanks to many Edge & Rydia shrines, I've gotten a closer look at the characters._

He's staring at her shimmering, green backside angrily. Mostly he's only angry at himself. Muttering such things as "code of the Ninja, my kingdom, my duty..." he strides right behind her, fiercely eyeing at her, her hair, her delicate hands holding her weapon... Finally he decides that equally every part, every quality she holds is driving him insane. 

He doesn't even wish to guess when it began. The first time they held eye contact for seconds, looking sternly at each other, before breaking the look intentionally, because it seemed like it was too much. Never too much for her, he had realised. She held herself together so well, it only came out in small moments, such small seconds. A terrified glance, when he seemed to be dying, a gasp when she finally realised he was alive. He laughed secretly at himself. Maybe those small moments were his imagination's creations. Memories are often warped by our own minds. Remembering the things we want to keep in our hearts, forgetting the pain and making up a promise from tomorrow for today_. _**Insane,** he often muttered to himself. **You have gone insane.**

What Rydia was... Something he would always hope for and something he could never imagine to have. Strange, how it always was like that inside his mind. He wore his duty and the mark of his kingdom as a burning scar on his chest. Maybe he made up all his despair, because he needed something to bleed for. Something other than the icy wounds of the death of his parents and how they stung. He had so much to bleed for. Then he covered it up with cheeky humour and she was the one who saw through. She didn't ever say anything; she just let him know with looks. Amusedly he thought she had taught him all about sign language. And her radiating green hair, eyes and dress... The beauty of this one girl he just wanted and cared for. Why did it have to drive him crazy? Why did it have to make him doubt himself?

He really hoped he didn't care. That she didn't care, either. But every single long look they shared, every single smile she smiled at him and every single time they secretly touched, _accidentally_, it affected him too much. It blew him away and it made him happy and sad at the same time. Like there was something missing from him and that it was only her, who could make him whole. **Blasting fairy tales... How can this be my life**_?_ he wondered ever so often. If all he needed was to get the girl, why didn't he?

Simply impossible, was his conclusion and so he strode next to her, but only to encounter an enemy. She glanced at him, so carefully he hardly noticed, but he always did. He ignored the wild storm of fire, ice, thunder and mist of emotions dwelling and clashing inside him. **There's no time.. Then she concentrated on the battle and her spells and he couldn't watch her. How he loved to just watch her. And oh, how much he knew he couldn't. He shouldn't. **

**Ninja shouldn't love... A king should not love anything but his kingdom...**

In moments like these he knew it had it bad for her. In moments like these he just couldn't deny it or fight it any longer.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

She could always feel his eyes on her. Maybe it was because he watched her so much; glanced at her on every possible occasion, gazed at her when they were silent and alone, stared at her with stern, serious eyes whenever she said something that threw him slightly off his balance. What she didn't want to admit, was that she watched him too. Admired how his silver hair fell on in forehead, his tall frame, his cold grey eyes, that still shone care whenever one member of their party of four was badly wounded. She never wanted to ...single him out, somehow. But he was not like the rest, she always recognised. He was something out of ordinary to her. She couldn't quite grasp it, couldn't quite explain it. Maybe he was a mystery to her; or maybe she had already figured him out so well she didn't know what to think. _Love is weakness, isn't it?_

Utterly confused with her emotions, she felt like a child again. Small, motherless girl casting Fire on enemies alongside a warrior she hardly knew. _I insist on being strong... I have to be strong. Every time they imply I'm not, I feel like breaking apart... But then I get up and prove them wrong. __Cecil__ knows I'm strong now.  And she looked at Cecil and felt so much warmth. _

Then she glanced at Edge and she felt lost and empty. The whole world seemed to be elements to her; the people, the nature, the monsters and the moon. But she could never figure out his element. Fire or Ice, Thunder or Earth?  _I'm not in love. Why would I be? Arrogant, cocky, brash. Full of himself. That's him, isn't it? She just watched him... __Yet when everyone seems so distant and caught up in their own minds, he's the one bringing us all down to Earth. He's real in the sense that no other human being is real. He's full of life and human emotions. Every now and then, she wanted to be like him. _A green mage, a summoner, a caller, a girl from the mist... I can hardly see myself anymore.__

Sometimes she just wanted all the doubt and the confusion go away. She wanted to be strong and confident. She wasn't a child crying after her mother. _Maybe love really is a weakness. _ She acted cold towards him, like he didn't matter or something. But then he was thrown down by an enemy and she heard herself let out a cry and kneel before him in shock. And she was so glad when he was back on his feet, that she wanted to...

_Touch_. So often she wondered what it'd be like. Not like the _accidental _brushes of skin against skin, sending little tingling messages through each one's body. What it'd really be like. But he wouldn't. He would never dare and she never could dare. 

His eyes were boring into her backside and she imagined those cold grey eyes burning, because he was angry with himself or the world. She wondered what'd happen if she...

_Hey Edge, you fool. Why do you watch me? I think I know why you watch me. Stop denying and maybe I'll let you know a secret. Maybe you'll even like it. Maybe I'll even say it over and over again until you make me quiet with your lips and we'll shiver when we touch, because we've both wanted it for so long. Edge... I.. love you. Do you hear me?_

Rosa had spotted a monster heading towards them and she was clutching at her rod as Cain hurried next to her. Rydia felt Edge walk hastily next to her, his ninja-sword ready. She glanced at him swiftly. He noticed and an expression she couldn't read played on his face. A smile or a frown, a grin or a curse; she really couldn't tell. All she knew was that he was going through the same confusion as she was.

She wanted to say it aloud or whisper it or do something, but she stood there, clasping at her whip and wondering if he cared just the same. _What if I'd just whisper... Would you reply?_

_I love you. _**I love you.**

* * *


End file.
